I have murdered countless innocents, even children. Armies have bowed before me. I have sown genocide across worlds. Worst of all, my atrocities entertained me.
Of course, my horrific acts all occurred in video games, so I am about as well-adjusted as any modern twentysomething. Like most my age, the massive sum of time spent in digital worlds is a subject not to dwell upon.
Today is the first day of my final spring break. During elementary and high school, this would have been a week spent mostly in my pajamas with a Nintendo controller because girls were either A.) icky or later B.) not talking to me.
Yet sometime during my undergraduate education, video games stopped being so important to me. My murderous, virtual campaigns began to bore me.
Think of an ex-girlfriend that you no longer care about. Looking back, you get annoyed remembering all the times she didn’t laugh at your jokes or wasn’t sensitive about that common problem that happens to plenty of guys and is definitely not a big deal (, right?). Yet you still miss the way you felt around her.
My passion for video games has decreased, but I still want them to be an important part of my life. Halo 4 was a good game, but I am nostalgic for breaking out of Ivory Tower in Halo 2. However, I can play Halo 2 anytime, but I know it won’t be the same. In the words of Tim McIlrath, “Maybe we’ve outgrown all the things that we once loved.”
Why has my passion diminished? Most video games make the same mistakes:
1. An oversaturation of violence When I was a kid, violence was cool. I wasn’t watching Power Rangers for the fascinating interpersonal dynamics; I watched to see the Rangers beat up on poorly costumed bad guys (and to see the Pink Ranger). My fondness for violence only increased when playing with guns and blood in Quake.
But there’s an upper limit to the violence after which you just become desensitized. After gouging out Poseidon’s eyes or destroying a planet-sized monster, who cares about blowing soldiers’ heads off.
Plus, a large part of my enjoyment was its taboo nature. At the time, you wanted to be the kid whose parents let him watch South Park at age 6, but looking back, playing GTA3 was sweetened because you had to to convince your mom that the game wasn’t that violent and was very respectful towards women. This parental interest about what you watch and play ends sometime during your early teens when drugs and sex become more pressing concerns than arrangements of pixels.
2. A disrespect of my time I am a pretty lazy guy. Most of my friends are either in grad school or working at engineering firms. As a fifth year philosophy student, my schedule is probably not as hectic as most other adults. So if I can’t find time to play most games, how the hell can anyone else?
RPGs are the worst offender. If I only have a few hours a week to play, an 80 hr experience can easily stretch over a few months. My interest in the plot simply cannot be sustained for that long.
This problem extends to more than just the sum of all playtime. Too many games require a large investment of time before I can even be sucked into a game and see some noticeable progress.
Too frequently, my use case with many RPGs is:
1. Listen to some dialogue to find out I need The Item in another town.
2. Start heading towards that town.
3. Fight wolves.
4. Fight more wolves.
5. Realize I am heading in the wrong direction.
6. Fight giant rat.
7. Drop some loot from my full inventory.
8. Fight wolves again.
9. Arrive at town.
10. Listen to more dialogue to discover that The Item is somewhere else.
15 minutes in, my dog will decide now is a perfect time to demand a walk. I’ll shut off the console, take Kiva out, realize I accomplished nothing, and put the game aside until tomorrow.
Kiva, the game time killer
As limited as mobile games like Temple Run are, at least I get a full experience playing them while on the toilet.
3. A meaningless virtual adventure This is the most fundamental problem of the three. Too many games rely on the monomyth, where a young hero heads out on an adventure to save the world and improve themselves along the way. This trope brings grandiosity and a sense of importance to games, but once you reach adulthood in real life, the virtual monomyth becomes hollow.
When you are in high school, it is hard to realize that you’re imprisoned in a fake life. Paul Graham, partner at Y Combinator, explains it best, “Your teachers are always telling you to behave like adults. I wonder if they’d like it if you did. You may be loud and disorganized, but you’re very docile compared to adults…Imagine the reaction of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being told they had to ask permission to go the bathroom, and only one person could go at a time…If a bunch of actual adults suddenly found themselves trapped in high school, the first thing they’d do is form a union and renegotiate all the rules with the administration.” Your actions and responsibilities are limited until age 18.
But once you hit adulthood, you are free to go on any adventure. Although the idea may seem distant, improving the world is a real goal you can fight for. Bill Gates does it every day. But adventures can also be personal. Visit Spain. Write a novel. Get the girl.
Real adventures trump virtual ones. This holds true at both a macro and micro level. Why climb Death Mountain when you can climb Mount Kilimanjaro? Why grind mobs to increase my level when I can grind at the gym to lose weight? While your virtual goals are normally easier to achieve, your real ones have more importance.
For this reason, games aimed at adults cannot rely so heavily on a sense of adventure to impart meaning to the player. Of course, real world responsibilities hinder our chances to work on real goals, so video games can fill a need for accomplishment quite easily. But games need to expand beyond this.
Video games are interesting because anything can happen inside their world. Physics and logic are the programmer’s plaything. The goal of a game should be to provide a unique experience not possible in any other medium.
For this reason, I’ve been drawn to mostly indie games recently. So many of them let me do something new, something I have never experienced.
As such, I have created this site to talk about all the indie games I am playing. Upcoming posts will be in-depth discussions on a single game. You can call them reviews. You can call them criticism. You can call them rants or ramblings.
But two major guidelines will instruct my writing.
1. No scores, hence the name of this site. If you can’t tell how much I like a game by only skimming the post, then that’s a problem with my writing ability. Dumbing down my thoughts to a single number is disrespectful to you.
2. Don’t read my reviews before playing the game. Most game reviews help you decide whether to purchase the product. In that case, telling you about the details about the graphics and game mechanics makes sense.
But that does not interest me. I want to talk about the higher-level concepts a game addresses. The themes that stay with you are more important than when the FPS lags.
If you agree with my philosophy, stick around. My first substantive post will be coming soon.
I like your philosophy but I think you may change your mind and go back to playing video games, do you think?
Thanks for my first comment ever!
When I was a kid, I honestly believed one day I would have to just give video games up. I knew only one adult who played them, so I assumed you just quit playing when you turn 18. Turns out my dad was just too old to get into video games when they came out, a though that never occurred to me.
But nowadays games are just too culturally important to ever give up completely. Even my mom “games” if you can count Doodle Jump. Giving up games would be like giving up listening to music just because you quit your band.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be as excited about Halo 6 as I was for Halo 2, nor do I ever expect that level of excitement to ever return for experiences where I just blow stuff up.
The question to answer is “Will innovative indie games bring that passion back?”. To some extent, I believe they will, but it will be in a different form than before. Part of that new experience will be actively thinking about why a game excites me, and that’s what I’m trying to achieve at this blog.
Hi Matt. To expand on what you said earlier, I thought I would ask: are you not your own monomyth? A character in this world improving on his journey toward enlightenment. What kind of life would always playing FFVII or Halo 2 be? Good luck with your blog.
This is an AWESOME post. Having recently left college and entered the “real world”, the part about lack of time/motivation to use that time for video games rings extraordinarily true to me. I’m very interested to read your future posts.
Thanks! Adult life has really shown me why so many people just want to zone out in front of the TV after work.
Loved this post. I think video games are just a bit of fun, and should be treated that way – they’re probably more educational than TV, anyway! It’s all about balance in life. Enjoy everything in moderation.
Rebecca: Thanks! As far as games being more educational than TV, at least there’s no Ancient Aliens or Honey Boo Boo game…yet!
A Honey Boo Boo game?? Don’t give the developers ideas. If that ever does eventuate, it’ll be sure sign of the Apocalypse!
I am not a video game player, but as a tabletop RPG player, I found myself less inclined to play. After a break from gaming my friends and I rekindled our intrest. Funny thing is, we realied that instead of the game being of primary importance it became a backdrop for just getting together and relaxing.
I’m jealous; I wish I had enough friends to consistently play DnD. :/
In addition to false achievements, I think a big drawback with modern games is also false socialization. Trash talking with teenagers over the Internet will never be as important as sitting down with real friends to play games next to each other and share some food.
I am very lucky to have friends that manage to make time to get together and explore our geekyness on a semi regular basis! I admit I am a snobby gamer who enjoys gaming with people in the room more than online!
Although I really enjoyed my time playing DnD with my friends and would love a group to play with again. I find playing any game with friends in the room is a fairly similar experience.
Playing CoD isn’t ruled out because after flying planes, or racing bikes or whatever indie game we’ve been on. Shooting something has it’s touches when there is 4/5 of you in a room not over the internet.
You’ve hit the nail on the head with regards a stronger relationship with earlier versions of games holding a more nostalgic place. Me and my partner have a little girl of 14 months and I have been left home alone baby in bed, Xbox still plugged into the television and various game choices available to me but despite having the opportunity that hasn’t presented itself since my daughters birth I am not motivated to reach for the controller and have an hour… Though if I still had my old Nintendo I would have easily entertained myself with 2D adventures with Dizzy.
Funnily though, I bet your daughter will one day be nostalgic for games that haven’t even come out yet. All the games you and I are nostalgic over will probably just be ancient history.
That’s very true, may even end up using the phrase ‘back in my day we used to play things on a screen with controllers on wires’
Very thoughtful and introspective post. IDK if it’s because you are college educated, but I can count on one finger (and have one left over) how many of my gamer friends could express, let alone coherently write about, the thoughts you have captured here. Followed!
Thanks for the kind words! However, it’s probably not because of the college education; after all I have a 2.something GPA right now :/
I’m 34 years old, have a professional career, am married, and have 2 incredible children. I was of the generation that started playing on an Atari, graduated to the Nintendo, then SNES. I grew up, but my love of video games has never diminished…it’s just gotten more mature (mostly). My wife has learned to not bug me about it anymore, lol.
Don’t get me wrong, games are not my life… I’m a huge outdoors guy, have my own woodshop, and love spending time with my family, but after the kids have gone to bed, given the choice between watching tv for a couple hours before bed or playing a game, I’ll pick my game every time.
Great post, well written, and I’ll definitely follow your future blogs too! Congrats on the FP
You can’t go wrong spending time outside. Nothing gets me more excited to be creative than hiking and going on adventures in the Texas Hill Country.
I am 38, a Philosophy and English graduate, and still an avid gamer. I started playing on a Sinclair ZX Spectrum in the early 80s, later moved on to PC gaming, and then settled on PlayStation in my mid-twenties. My nom de plume is taken from two of my favourite Spectrum games. These days I prefer games that are immersive, have good intuitive gameplay and treat the player with respect. I also think that they are a valid art form in their own right and often speak to me as much as other forms. I’ve also just started a blog on my gaming exploits, where I’ll be commenting on vintage games as well as new ones: opquam.wordpress.com.
I’ll be following your blog with interest! Well done on being Freshly Pressed so soon too!
Glad to see another philosophy major with a gaming blog.
I clicked on your blog when I saw the english bull terrier because they are my favorite dogs! No wonder you don’t have time to play games. Kiva needs the games! Time to do her pig run & tug time with you! lol
They’re such great dogs! Fortunately Kiva’s only a miniature english terrier, so it’s easy enough to wear her out for the day with a good, long hike.
Awesome! I want a mini girl so bad! My male is a punk sometimes, he needs a lady friend!
i don’t do video games but i do love that world because almost anything is possible. great work
Best first post ever, loved your intro!
Thanks! I’ve started so many blogs that I’ve gotten a lot of practice on first posts.
Reblogged this on itycharles.
Thank you!
Well played, well said.
I don’t share your passion but my 7yo increasingly does. For someone not your target audience, great read
Thanks! What’s your son’s favorite game?
That’s easy, Super Mario. He’s tried others but always goes back to Mario
Same for me when i was his age.
I really liked what you what you wrote & enjoyed reading it
actually i only play wow – Its more than enough for me , don’t enjoy anything else – i started play it after i graduated from the university for 4 months for 12 hrs a day! (I know its tooooo much , i was addicted with it + didn’t have job at that time ) the good think is i improved my English .after that i got bored from it , and quit the game , I returned 2 weeks ago just to see the new content of MOP but i don’t find the game very interesting like it was and i play for 2-3 hrs , sometimes less . Actually i don’t mind pay but i don’t like the huge amount of time it takes from me.
This page helped me to quit the game :
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-a-World-of-Warcraft-Addiction
Excellent mission statement, sir. The indie scene represents so much of the interesting work happening in games that I think taking a closer look at them will be deeply worthwhile. (I should think so — I run a blog with a similar premise!)
Also, death to review scores!
I agree with No. 5, I would always get lost going into another town looking for this stupid item and lose interest. I stopped gaming after high school. I had virtually no time to play in college (hell, I didn’t even watch TV in college). I started to play games again… but only little games on my iPhone, when I’m waiting for something and have some time to kill. I really agree with your entry. I wasn’t really into the violent part as much, but I’m not a guy… I really liked RPGs, but again, it’s hard to log in for an hour a day and still stay interested in the story if then.
LOL. i can just picture Kiva saying “Did you say walk? I thought I heard walk! Kinda started with an f- sound but I’m still sure you said walk!”
By an odd chance, I never got into console or PC games really. Oh I tried, bought an original playstation with the idea that a bunch of us would get in on mass gaming (ummm, errr, before MMOTOGS obviously) but that never happened. Then I could never afford the type of machines needed to pay those fancy MMO games, let alone the monthly fee. By the time i could afford a decent machine I really didn’t like windows snug more and went with Linux, which is severity limited in games. At this point, I have given up on games in general. Yet a friend let me pay Skyrim on his PS3 and I could easily see why people get into threes things. While the various adventures seemed to be taking you away from the main theme all the time (don’t really know, only played it for a week), what got me was the behind-the-scenes details! The stars in the sky and the moons were stunning! The northern lights blew my mind too! Things like that were something of a surprise to me too learn that is what I really liked in games. That shows a level of commitnent to the story that goes well beyond “profit searching”. Now, hopefully someone will come out with a killer game for Linux like that (or port Skyrim over NATIVELY, no silly Steam ttickery to make it work either), them I’ll be a happy boy to plunk down some money. I did so once on a “humble bundle” for Linux. Not much theretoo toy with really, too finicky to get working on the one game that I thought might be cool. Too bad it didn’t work out. So I’m glad to find your blog on Freshly Pressed (congrats, I would like to know what their criteria is for this achievement…).
With Valve’s upcoming Steam Box being Linux based, hopefully a lot more Linux games will be coming out. If they do, I might make the switch from Windows to Linux too since I never want to have to use Windows 8 and Metro.
(Oh, and I have no idea how I was so lucky to be picked for Freshly Pressed.)
Really interesting points in this post. I genuinely find it hard to find a game worth playing these days. Especially on a console. Although I got a lot of use out of F1 2011, but that’s probably because I’m a big fan of the sport in real life.
Well done on getting freshly pressed so early in your blog. I was pressed early too and the followers it brought me are probably the only reason I’m still here.
I’m so excited for the new F1 season. Who do you thinks going to win it all? I’m thinking it’s Alonso’s first year to win over at Ferrari.
I want Kimi to win. I’d be happy for Alonso to win. I’d be ok with anyone but the German winning again.
Only four and a half more sleeps.
I’d like Kimi to win too, but I doubt Lotus has the car to pull it off.
I was there to see him come second in Hungary last year.
It’s nice to see support for F1 in the states. Although now that I think about it, you’re probably not far from the new track there.
Yep, it’s just right across town for me. Unfortunately, tickets were really expensive, so I couldn’t go last year. But my dad went and said it was amazing.
We have an English Bull Terrier pup named Zeus. His sole purpose is to make my teenager get off her electronic devices and out into the sun. I agree with your thoughts about video games and the need for balance~ Rae
Before I say this, I would like to say that I did in fact read through the entire post and found it very interesting. But…your dog is absolutely adorable!!! There, now that I’ve got that out of my system…I think it’s really great that you’ll be talking about some lesser known video games. Maybe it’ll help me steer my fiancé in the right direction when he gets bored of the games he’s playing now!
I also grew up with Power Rangers and Halo 2. While I still like Power Rangers, I’m slowly starting to get bored with Halo and other video games. Sadly, the one game that still holds my interest is Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3.
You’re right about how games follow the same tropes and how stagnant things become. Also, the only RPG I’ve ever played more than 100 hours on is Oblivion, and I haven’t been able to play a similar game for that long since then. Mass Effect was fine for its main story, but I never saw the point of doing the side missions. Those just get repetitive.
Did you only play Mass Effect 1? I found that the side quests are pretty boring at first, but by the third game the side quests are frequently better than the main storyline.
I’ve played Mass Effect 1 and 2. I borrowed both games from a friend, so I wanted to finish the main story quickly. I think I actually enjoyed it more that way since I didn’t feel the need to beat the games 100%.
I grew up on video games and have definitely had to become more selective about what I play into adulthood. As aesthetics of games have become more varied, they have also become more important to me. I’m less enthusiastic about a game if it revels in blood, muck, decay and destruction.
I was a huge Halo 2 player in its heyday and I still play Halo games. I really liked the Splinter Cell: DA multiplayer on the 360. There were definitely some improvements and features I would have liked to have seen, but I liked the overall stealth mechanics.
Can’t say I’ve gotten into indie games, though.
By the way, I see you’re a philosophy student at UT Austin. Have you had classes under Tara Smith?
I couldn’t agree more about outgrowing the things we once loved. Who wouldn’t feel nostalgia for a game you’ve spent time and energy on? That you’ve ignored phone calls and skipped showers for? Even though the zeal eventually diminishes, I’m always on the lookout for my newest addiction.
I would say you were really lucky to get your first ever post on freshly pressed, therefore gaining an instant wide audience, but I think your actual post is pretty good too. I understand what you said about the fun of games dimming, I started with the Artix Entertainment sites when I was younger and found that the mindless whacking didn`t really appeal to me anymore, and other games` heedless violence distressed me. I find that I really enjoy the puzzle games more now, and I can spend a few minutes in Dinnerdash, Bejewled, or hidden picture games in my lunch breaks and still leave feeling like I did something, at least in the virtual world.
I really liked reading your post.
I was a teenager less than 10 years ago but I was not too much into playing video games. Now that I have grown up and can go on any adventure in my life, I find myself stuck in responsibilities. So now games are just a source of distraction and some fun that I cannot find in real life. I do not play high tech games like my husband who is glued to DOTA. I just play Solitaires, NFS, AniPang (on iPhone) and Wind Runner.
I doubt I will ever be bored of them. I used to be hooked to DXBall many years ago. And I keep scores. I am very competitive. I have no idea why I never played games in schoool or college, maybe because I was a book worm!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
First off let me say that was very well said. Your article was very well outlined and I hope I can catch a bit of your organization for my next post. Now that I got that out of the way let me actually write my comment. haha.
Being that I just finished college and started having some responsibilities in the real world I am starting to experience this exact phenomena. As an tech geek and someone who has toyed around with creating video games I enjoy seeing new and interesting styles of games. Whether they be short addicting flash games like Fancy Pants Adventures 1 – 3, long drawn out RPGs (Final Fantasy), or, what I enjoy most, games with great game-play and story lines (Assassins Creed).
Taking all of that into account let me offer a slightly different view point as to why you may not enjoy video games as much as you once did, or at least why I don’t enjoy them as much anymore. I am simply maturing and as such I am thinking of things differently. Growing up I was much more excited to play things like Super Mario World that has literally no story line then it’s face value. Now the only reason for me to pick up a game like that is strictly for nostalgia value (don’t ever underestimate that). For me gone are the days where I can just play a video game only to “beat this level” or “kill this boss”. At this point there are only three things that actually get me to buy a new game. A good co-op or multiplayer experience (everything is better with friends), an amazing story line, or some ground breaking physics/idea for the game.
At any rate I wish you luck with your blog. It seems to already be a big hit!
Funny how you mention a Mario game. While most Mario games are expertly made, I also find that there’s not much there for me. Almost all of Nintendo’s franchises are vastly more interesting to me.
[...] Hello, World [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
Well done. Nice to see a discussion of video games that leaves the ratings behind and looks at cultural/coming-of-age implications, and plans to look at something outside the standard formulaic best sellers. I look forward to your future posts, and wholeheartedly endorse your goal of becoming truly social in your gaming experiences.
Great read! My husband introduced me to the computer game, “Ancient Art of War” (I am dating myself) shortly after we had our first child. Suddenly I was a gamer (that name wasn’t invented yet). When my newborn was up in the middle of the night, I would be sitting in front of my computer, playing the game. I found I really enjoyed playing. I would sneak in a few hours while my kids went to school or when they were taking naps. When Age of Empires first came out, I played the game with my husband and older kids. When my son was around 13, I became a legend among his friends because I would play the game whenever they came over and I usually beat them (I know, it wasn’t fair but I AM a mom and moms usually don’t win let alone play computer games). Because of the ultra violent nature of present day video games, we have stuck to Age of Empires (Conquerors) and Rise of Nations on the computer and just sports games on PS3 and Wii exercise (I love Zumba!). What we play is mainly interactive with each other – because of our big family (I have nine kids), we have a network of computers. But even with those restrictions, we find ourselves wanting to play for hours. It’s getting harder and harder to get my teenage boys to go play outside.
This is my favorite line in your post – “Real adventures trump virtual ones.” Thank you for reminding me about the important things in life.
And from a different point of view … I’m a 69-year-old grandmother who’s been a gamer since my son got me into Everquest (a way to get together while he was away at school). He, too, started with D&D and an Atari. After he grew up and got me hooked, he went on to get a job, get married, have kids, etc. He’d be gaming more if he had the time, but he still manages to work in some FIFA along with a few coops with his wife. The kids (10 and 7) are into Minecraft. I just finished Far Cry 3. Looks like the family that plays together stays together.
Welcome to WordPress. I’m looking forward to more of your take on games and gaming. Now go take Kiva for a walk.
Wow, gaming moms (grandmas)! Love it!
Reblogged this on IKALIFIORNIA : THE AKANA II GROUP RELEVANCE FEED and commented:
So right. I was checking this out in the reader aiked the read and thought I liked the reader too. Great new site.
[...] Hello, World [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
Very interesting article. I have two questions. 1) How often do you play video games now? and 2) I feel dumb asking it, but what is an indie game?
1.) Almost every day, but it varies massively from 5 minutes to several hours. It’s tough to say but I would probably say it averages out to about an hour a day.
2.) Not a dumb question. Officially, an indie game is one that is released independently without a publisher. For example, the developers would directly release a game digitally, instead of going to EA and having them publish the copies. However nowadays with the popularity of indie games, a lot of publishers getting into the game and are giving small developers favorable opportunities to be published. So the definition of “indie” has expanded–I would say an indie game is one produced by a small team (<20, quite frequently just 1-2).
Awesome. Thanks for answering that for me.
Your point #2 about their respect for our time really struck a chord with me; I grew up with the early Final Fantasy games, and I remember them fondly. But I can’t replay them anymore, because they just waste so much of my time. Even if you’re playing “optimally” there’s a whole lot of walking around, time-consuming random fights, and just generally a lot of narratively-dead time. Looking back at the old ads, though, I can see that they actually boasted about it taking dozens or even hundreds of hours to complete.
[...] Hello, World [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
Nice article. Really helped put my own gaming blog in perspective.
So when is your first review/rant coming out? Which game?
I’ve got one up already on an indie RTS: http://scorenotfound.com/2013/03/11/auralux-the-art-of-simplicity/
[...] post Hello, World laid out lofty goals. How can I consistently write about games in a deep manner? My first [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
[...] Hello, World [...]
Just a few ideas…
The world of video games is not so unlike every other arena of human life. Yes, it’s about the gun shooting, the graphics, the items. Even more so, it’s always about self and social esteem. This pride, this self-appraisal we are perpetually in search of is in limited supply, and everything in video games is merely a construct that allows us to pursue the feeling of esteem that we really lust after.
The funny thing about games like halo is that the people are the best at playing them (presumably through the many hours of practice) are are also usually the least invested out of anyone in our society in actual political conflicts that result in such violence —- the very opposite of the gun-toting characters they are vicariously controlling.
Reblogged this on geraldtheteller and commented:
Passion, that’s what this world needs.
As with most things in life, those older games are shrouded in a mist of nostalga and viewed through rose tinted glasses, our [Insert appropriate amazing old video game here ] (in my own case – Timeplitters/GTA Vice City/anything on the SNES) is this generations COD MW
Kiva is the cutest dog ever!
Agreed!
[...] P.S. If you’ve been following my blog, you might have noticed that I’ve attempted a slightly different style of review. This change came after reading Matt Wrench’s article here. [...]
It is suggested in some quarters that payday companies remove inflated APR from the consumer, it is not so. Consumers are needed to pay only as much as they get a loan.